Goodbye Shiny Distractions, Hello Focus & Making Things Happen!

Found on  a lovely blog about Shiny Object Syndrome!

Those of you who know me know I have a lot going on. Like always. And not always in a good way. I know I have somehow chosen all of this as there are so many wonderful opportunities, ideas and people that it is hard not to jump on board all of them (I don't actually physically jump on that many people - but you know what I mean right?!).

Buuuuuuuuuuut, there are consequences to this. Yes...
I sometimes drop the ball and then follow it with a beat up session.
I drop doing some of the stuff that is good for me and I enjoy (ahem...yoga...double ahem...blogging)
I don't do a lot of things to the depth or with the care they deserve
I don't connect with a lot of friends and loved ones
Time feels like it flies by without accomplishing big things
I don't have the down time to rejuvenate or connect with myself and my creativity.

Do you ever feel this way too? What do you do about it?

So, I'm learning to:

• stay away from Shiny Distracting Objects (eyes on the prize Girl!), 
• saying a compassionate 'No' or 'Can we have a look at that later?' when required,
• asking myself 'Will doing this move me towards my goals?' and then 'Is this the best thing I can do right now to move me quickly to my goals?' when new things present themselves,
• not adding anything new to my project list until some a complete and, 
• focussing on what is important in the now so I can really dive into the things that will make my dreams come to reality.

What are your recommendations to deal with have too many things to do?

Make it as you wish Adventuress,

Arienne xo

Do You Hate A Part Of Yourself Too?

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Warning! This post goes a little bit lovingly woowoo :)

Is there a part of yourself that you hate? A section of you that you fear will raise its head? Yes, hate is a strong word, but let's be honest now. Do you have a part of yourself that you hate? I have.

That was hard for me to admit because I don't hate anything. There is no room for hate in my life. Instead of 'hating' I try:

• to understand with compassion, 
• to see from another point of view, 
• to see through the filter of another person's experience, 

and then to express my opinion and persuade if I feel strongly enough. Ultimately I try to accept others and to let go and let live. 

I have no control over other people. I can only change myself (haha, yes, this is frustrating on occasion - I'm only human after all!).

Anyways, back to the hate I have towards a part of me. That part is ANXIETY.

I've come to understand it from many different sides and now see it as the desperate Wake Up Call to live the life I was born to live that I truly needed to stand up and pay attention. 

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut. I hate how it makes me feel when it rears its head. 

In those moments that it wells up in my chest, I hate. 

When I fear the world going dark again, I hate. 

When it lifts my heart rate and I go into fight or flight mode, I hate. 

When it narrows my perspective, I hate. 

When I lose my connection to who I know I can be, I hate. 

When I feel the world is hopeless, I hate. 

When I feel constant fear, I hate.

When feeling some of those, ahem, not so lovely things above the other day I went for a run and chanted to myself, "I am strong, healthy and happy in body, mind and soul." and then again, "I am strong, healthy and happy in body, mind and soul" and again and again and again and again and again and again.

It didn't quite connect at the time. 

Next I went to yoga for the first time in months. I went through the motions of moving and breathing, trying to focus my distracted mind on the simple (and strenuous!) flow. It felt good to move my body and channel cleansing breath to the stagnant corners of my being.

Finally laying down in Savasana, I was trying to sit with (or ignore - I couldn't decide which would be better) the anxious fear sensations in my chest. 

A thought popped into my head: Send it love.

I'm willing to try anything in those uncomfortable moments, so I did.

I visualised the anxiety as a ball of dark cloud residing in my chest and I told it it was loved.

I felt the fear and told it it was loved.

I saw the darkness and told it it was loved.

I felt the hopelessness and told it it was loved.

I felt and repeated "You are loved"

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

(Oh my god, big tears are falling as I write this and my flatmate is coming downstairs to watch X-factor at any moment now...)

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

And I felt overwhelming love and compassion for that part of me. Laying there on the mat, in a room full of yogis, I silently cried for the acceptance it felt, for the overwhelming love it finally was receiving. From it being a hated, unwanted, feared, and loathed part of me it had turned into something that I was giving love to.

It felt the love. It felt it so truly and so deeply. So it let go and transformed.

What part of yourself do you hate? Can you tell it is is loved?

Make it as you wish SSSs.

You are loved.

Feel it.

A Life Less Ordinary

Found On

Back in the days before The Man danced into my life and I was a single gal, I remember coming across people's dating profiles.

So many of them stated, "I'm just a normal guy, looking for a normal girl..." or some permutation of the like.

My reaction was always, WHO WANTS BORING NORMAL?? WHO WANTS THINGS TO BE 'ORDINARY'??

Okay, so we might not be searching for abnormal, but don't we want something a little different and unique? And I believe this doesn't only go for relationships - it is relevant for life in general. We deserve the best.

I want extraordinary.

 

I want my life full of magic and the 'impossible'. Of love soaring to heights I didn't believe true.

I want to be the best I can be. To experience wonderment and awe in my everyday.

To be and see the spectacular and the fantastic.

So how do we do that?

So much of this has to do with our perception of the world around us and within us. We can make ordinary situations into extraordinary ones with how we engage with them.

For example, you can just see a weed growing in an unlikely place or you can see it and experience the wonder of it being able to grow there. You can accept breakfast in bed with a gracious thanks or you can super appreciate it and shower the giver with gratitude and feel how lucky you are to have that person in your life. Notice the difference?

Appreciate how you react to situations and deal with things. Feel you are capable and pat yourself on the back for accomplishing even the smallest things. See then how it makes you feel! We can take for granted our innate abilities or we can look inside and cheer them on :)

Another thing we can do is raise our standards and expect good. If you are forever expecting little out of life or yourself how will you see when great things come along? Raise your expectation bit by bit. Expect good and you will see more of it around you. Yes it can be challenging but give it a go! Trust me - it is worth it! Can you see the good in that?

Are you with me SSSs?? Make it extraordinary and as you wish!

Building Confidence - Adding a Notch to My Belt

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At yoga the other day I was confronted with a situation I noticed I was totally resisting...

The instructor was demonstrating with a partner how to do an assisted handstand that he wanted everyone to pair up and try.

The voices in my head went something like this:
"You've got to be kidding me. I can't do that."
"I don't have enough strength."
"I have to pair up with a stranger and show them how I can't do it?"
"I don't want to look around and catch anyone's eyes."
"Of course he can make it look so easy, he;s been doing it for years."
"How can he expect us to do that?"
"I'll never be able to do it. Maybe I should give up yoga altogether?"
"I wonder if anyone would notice if I sneaked out of the room right now?"
"If I'm reacting like this does it mean I'm a chicken?"
"Yup, it means I'm a failure! I will never be able to succeed at anything in life..."
"I never do anything well. And even if I even try I will just stumble and crush some poor little yogi underneath my mammoth body..."
"Shit...he's finishing the demonstration...the door is only 3 metres away..."


Then, through the momentum of everyone starting to move and pair up I locked eyes (whoops!) with this fit looking girl about a head shorter than me - she smiled and started walking in my direction...

Then I gave in - better than resisting right?? She introduced herself and I warned her that I didn't really have confidence in being able to pull the position off and apologised in advance if I toppled her over. Brave woman that she was she still wanted to give it a go with me!

I offered for her to go up first with me assisting and she gracefully arched into position and went up into a perfect handstand. I was super impressed and told her so.

Then it was my turn. Buoyed by her success but still caught up in the distrust of my ability I reluctantly arched into position. She supported my shoulders and told me to start lifting my legs. I hopped up a little and my feet landed back on the ground. Another bunny hop and I could feel my face filled with blood and effort.

I stood up and said I didn't know if I would get it but that I'd have one more try since we were there anyway...

Deep breath, hands down, positioned outer shoulder width apart, core in, legs lifting, trusting in her support. Then...

SUCCESS

I was in an assisted handstand! My legs splayed wide, then came together again. Then I splayed them wide again just for fun and then brought them in to touch! WOW! I was in control of it. I DID IT! I was basking in my headstand glory! My red face was grinning wildly! I wanted to stay up here forever.

My mind was officially blown...

After all that blah blah bullshit that was raging on in my monkey mind, I managed something that I clearly didn't believe was possible for me at that time.

In that moment something shifted. I gained an understanding that I can do things I never thought I would be able to. I looked at the different situations that I am currently facing and it gave me renewed strength to tackle the daunting tasks I've set for myself.

From that experience I have gained a valuable amount of confidence. The issues that I am 'freakin' out' about I am much more willing to give a good old go with.

Maybe they'll be just like that handstand. Something I thought was impossible, but with some effort perhaps success will show up again...

What are you thinking is impossible in your life SSSs?
Make it as you wish!
Arienne
xo 

PS. A few months ago I thought the below position (wheel) was impossible for me. I worked on it and can now do it. Another notch on my confidence belt!

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Life is Like A Bus (and a box of chocolates)

Found On

My bus analogy for life's crap...

I was catching the bus a lot while making my daily commute to the admin office (aka the twilight zone and unfortunately not in the vampire kind of way) last year. While sitting there with handbag and jacket piled on me and crossing my legs and balancing my iPad on top of aforementioned mountain of things, I felt the sway and force of every corner.

I noticed that the more I tried to right myself against the turns the more I thought I was going to topple over. On the other hand, if I relaxed and just let the turns move me, I never fell off my seat and the ride became a lot more comfortable (well, except perhaps for the person sitting next to me).

Such a small thing, but I gained such an insight into a life parallel:

Lean into the curves life throws at you. 

By going with it, rather than fighting against it, the experience is actually shorter and smoother.

You might have experienced it when having to do a project you don't like but have to do. Or you might have been faced with a change 'forced upon you' (job redundancy, relationship breakup). By 'resisting' it, you make the process a lot more difficult for yourself and it becomes a longer-term shadow hanging over you.

On a deeper level you may be resisting some issue (fear, problem relationship, health concern) going on by ignoring it or suppressing it. Then,when it rears its not-so-pretty head it becomes a much bigger, painful issue than if you had tackled it head on.

Yes, the situation may be painful or uncomfortable but by refusing to accept it it can become a more drawn out, challenging time than if you surrendered into the experience.

Which leads me to a saying that I can now totally relate to:

"What you resist persists" - Carl Jung

How have you experienced this in your life? Have you had other instances where you've flowed through something, even though it was tough and nipped it in the bud? What was the outcome like?

So next time an issue arises, see if you are resisting it. Or if you could surrender into it and play with it a little to have a better experience through a challenging time. Remember how fun the game 'corners' was in the car when you were younger?? It's like that - lean into the curves. Life's more fun that way...

Ride life like a bus SSSs!
Arienne xo