Self Care: Time for YOU!

Our lives can get really busy. We rush from appointment to appointment, squeezing our errands in between them and seeing when we can do our laundry and prepare something healthy to eat. Then we try to get to bed at a time where we will get enough sleep before we're up to get to work in the morning.

Stop this now girlfriend! Yes, we can do this for a little while but after some time we become exhausted. I know I start getting resentful of these obligations. I get irritated and almost all the enjoyment slips away.

It is better to do something before you explode. Prevention is better than cure.

Create some YOU time in amidst the busy times and you'll be able to do all the things you need to with more of a smile on your face and with a greater amount of energy.

What is on your self care list? Here are some of mine to get your ideas flowing:

• Journaling time in a cafe
• Giving myself an at-home pamper session - mani, pedi, face mask
• Getting a massage
• Indulging in a magazine together with a cup of coffee on the couch
• Doing something crafty - knitting, cross stitch or painting

What's on your list?

Make it as you wish!

Arienne xo

Self Love & Sisterhood

Tara Bliss, Melissa Ambrosini, Amanda Rootsey & Jessica Ainscough
Photo credit via Earth Events

Self Love = Soul Satisfaction ~ Tara Bliss

Walking into this packed room for the event Self Love & Sisterhood took my breath away. I could feel the uplifting energy and looking around at the sea of eager faces was awwwwwwwesome! And this was before the panel ladies even stepped out onto the stage!

This is the world I have been longing for since I woke up from my sleepwalking life. Over the years I've made some amazing one-on-one connections with like minds, but seeing a sea of sisters in one place was truly encouraging - this heart-centered, authentic-life, soul-sista, make-a-difference community is truly growing. I'm excited to see what Earth Events has in store for us in this vein.

So, who were these magic ladies?
Tara Bliss from Such Different Skies, Jessica Ainscough of the Wellness Warrior, Melissa Ambrosini from Path to Wellness and Amanda Rootsey from AmandaRootsey.com.au. Amanda was one of the early followers of this blog and I got such a buzz realising that!! (hi Amanda if you're reading this!).

Me & Amanda - gorgeous girl - gorgeous dress! Photo quality - average ;)

These women are truly living their authentic lives and inspiring others to gracefully (and messily!) dive through the muck and magic and be our well, real, divine, wonderful selves.

I came away from this event inspired. Not only to earnestly practice my version of self love but to gain more confidence in putting myself out there and growing in the direction my heart desires.

The panel format was engaging and provided spontaneous wisdom and heartfelt sharing.

You know me and my love of paper and pouring my heart out onto the page, so, in typical Arienne-fashion, I took copious notes that I had a hard time deciphering! I took down words and phrases that captured me and left me nodding with my heart. I may not have gotten every word right but it the gist that counts right girls?!

In response to 'What does self love mean to you?'
Accepting and having your own back no matter what. - Jessica Ainscough (JA)
Having gratitude for what you have now - Amanda Rootsey (AR)
Everything doesn't work without it - JA
[if you don't have self love you're] Building yourself up with sticks instead of bricks - Melissa Ambrosini (MA)
When you love yourself you want to drink green smoothies....- MA
Working the Self Love Muscle - MA
One first step is awareness...see how you speak to yourself - JA
[affirmations are important in self talk] I deeply and completely love and accept myself - JA
We wouldn't be here if we'd not been so messed up - Tara Bliss (TB)
I have a choice in this moment - TB
What does the mean girl say in your head? Write it down. Look at it. No one else would talk to you like that so why do you allow it? - MA
Doing things for someone else brings self love back
No amount of darkness can ever blow out that candle of awareness and choice 

How do you practice self love?
Remembering who I am in quiet time. - TB
Meditating and connecting - MA
What I put in my body are acts of self love.
What soundtrack I choose to play in my head each day?
Getting to know myself without all the external labels (ie party girl) - JA

 How do you support the Sisterhood

Compare no more. Support and encourage others. There is an abundance in the world

Acceptance and love of where you are now

How do we make self love fun?Be gentle and forgiving of yourself
Do things everyday that you love. I've designed my life to make everyday and every moment fun - JA

Self love is not selfishness to the detriment of others. It is realising the importance of taking the time and effort in loving yourself so you can truly love and support others from the right place and from the best reasons.

I went with one of my besties and healthy influencers Miss C and caught up with Ashley - Physio and Pilates girl extraordinaire! 

The beautiful and vibrant Jessica Ainscough of The Wellness Warrior

Some of the takeaways and reminders that I am taking action on now:

• Sitting in stillness or journaling to connect with myself more regularly
• Becoming more aware of what I put into my body
• Stepping up into my own brilliance so I can shine and reflect that to the women shining around me
• Reminding myself that I chose the way I am now living my life and to allow myself more fun and lightheartedness in this.

I love Tara's quote that I highlighted at the top - Self love is equal to soul satisfaction. That's what it is all about - doing the things that make your soul truly light up.

How do you practice self-love?
Make it as you wish,
Arienne

From Darkness to Light. What you going to do today Girlfriend?

Found On

We all have those days that aren't so good. The ones where we feel low.

It is okay girl. Things will get better. You may not see the light right this minute but trust me - you will see the sunshine again. It may take time and it will take some effort on your behalf. But when you turn that corner, it will feel even better than before because you know what the darkness was like.

We may or may not know the reasons. If it is fleeting, the Why may not matter.

If it is not so fleeting, talk to someone. Reach out. I'll bet that at the core it has something to do with not being who you really are. Dig down darling, the answers are all there. Ask yourself questions. Work out what truly makes you happy. Your joy is no one else's responsibility but yours. You owe it to yourself to explore what makes you tick. It is a journey, a process, a never-ending one. But it is a path that is so rewarding. The start is the hardest. It does get easier but takes effort nonetheless. I'm travelling down that road and am so grateful to be on my way rather than how I was before I started. I am happier, healthier, more real, more in love, more appreciated...more me.

Don't forget to enjoy the journey along the way. Your life is made up of days. Make everyday something real. Something wonderful. Make a memory. Turn a corner. Laugh at yourself. Call that friend. Give yourself permission. Help that guy. Get to you know more about you. Take a photo. Wear that dress. Ask for that raise. Resign. Read that book. Send that email. Forgive yourself. Forgive your mum. Forgive him. Go to that yoga class. Love yourself. Say thank you. Go after that goal. Say yes. Say no. Listen to that song. Put on your red lipstick and dancing shoes. Live.

I sat down with the intention to write a completely different post. This is what came out instead. Did one of you need it? Maybe I did...

What are you going to do today girlfriend?

Make it as you wish,
Arienne

Do You Hate A Part Of Yourself Too?

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Warning! This post goes a little bit lovingly woowoo :)

Is there a part of yourself that you hate? A section of you that you fear will raise its head? Yes, hate is a strong word, but let's be honest now. Do you have a part of yourself that you hate? I have.

That was hard for me to admit because I don't hate anything. There is no room for hate in my life. Instead of 'hating' I try:

• to understand with compassion, 
• to see from another point of view, 
• to see through the filter of another person's experience, 

and then to express my opinion and persuade if I feel strongly enough. Ultimately I try to accept others and to let go and let live. 

I have no control over other people. I can only change myself (haha, yes, this is frustrating on occasion - I'm only human after all!).

Anyways, back to the hate I have towards a part of me. That part is ANXIETY.

I've come to understand it from many different sides and now see it as the desperate Wake Up Call to live the life I was born to live that I truly needed to stand up and pay attention. 

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut. I hate how it makes me feel when it rears its head. 

In those moments that it wells up in my chest, I hate. 

When I fear the world going dark again, I hate. 

When it lifts my heart rate and I go into fight or flight mode, I hate. 

When it narrows my perspective, I hate. 

When I lose my connection to who I know I can be, I hate. 

When I feel the world is hopeless, I hate. 

When I feel constant fear, I hate.

When feeling some of those, ahem, not so lovely things above the other day I went for a run and chanted to myself, "I am strong, healthy and happy in body, mind and soul." and then again, "I am strong, healthy and happy in body, mind and soul" and again and again and again and again and again and again.

It didn't quite connect at the time. 

Next I went to yoga for the first time in months. I went through the motions of moving and breathing, trying to focus my distracted mind on the simple (and strenuous!) flow. It felt good to move my body and channel cleansing breath to the stagnant corners of my being.

Finally laying down in Savasana, I was trying to sit with (or ignore - I couldn't decide which would be better) the anxious fear sensations in my chest. 

A thought popped into my head: Send it love.

I'm willing to try anything in those uncomfortable moments, so I did.

I visualised the anxiety as a ball of dark cloud residing in my chest and I told it it was loved.

I felt the fear and told it it was loved.

I saw the darkness and told it it was loved.

I felt the hopelessness and told it it was loved.

I felt and repeated "You are loved"

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

(Oh my god, big tears are falling as I write this and my flatmate is coming downstairs to watch X-factor at any moment now...)

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved

You are loved 

You are loved

You are loved

And I felt overwhelming love and compassion for that part of me. Laying there on the mat, in a room full of yogis, I silently cried for the acceptance it felt, for the overwhelming love it finally was receiving. From it being a hated, unwanted, feared, and loathed part of me it had turned into something that I was giving love to.

It felt the love. It felt it so truly and so deeply. So it let go and transformed.

What part of yourself do you hate? Can you tell it is is loved?

Make it as you wish SSSs.

You are loved.

Feel it.

Neglecting Me

I'm having a really off few days. Not sure if it is because:
A) I've launched Life Is Crafted and having a bit of a lull (even though there is still heaps to do!)
B) I worked 16+ hours for a few weeks in the lead up to the launch and I didn't balance it with healthy living (not much exercise at all)
C) I had a big weekend and let loose after being so work focussed and my body and mind is not handling excess alcohol and the repercussions...
D) There is something else going on and the Universe is sending me signals to pay attention.

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson from the experiences in my past to try to live a more balanced life - to listen to signals and know how beneficial doing yoga, journaling and theta is for my mind, body and soul.

Everything was going so well that I think one side of me said I didn't need to do all that 'good' stuff. I was in the flow, kicking goals and my attention was taken up by positive deadlines and getting all the necessary stuff done. My priorties seemed right, but skewed that in the end I neglected my core health and the habits that give me strength, sanity and stability through challenging, and even enjoyable times.

I guess this post is me talking out loud a little. Trying to work through these icky feelings and attempting to understand what is going on.

I know the solution and the lesson is here, I just have to be patient and attentive and catch the penny when it drops.

Do you ever feel anything like this SSSs?

Making it as I wish,
Arienne xo

Building Confidence - Adding a Notch to My Belt

Photo Credit

At yoga the other day I was confronted with a situation I noticed I was totally resisting...

The instructor was demonstrating with a partner how to do an assisted handstand that he wanted everyone to pair up and try.

The voices in my head went something like this:
"You've got to be kidding me. I can't do that."
"I don't have enough strength."
"I have to pair up with a stranger and show them how I can't do it?"
"I don't want to look around and catch anyone's eyes."
"Of course he can make it look so easy, he;s been doing it for years."
"How can he expect us to do that?"
"I'll never be able to do it. Maybe I should give up yoga altogether?"
"I wonder if anyone would notice if I sneaked out of the room right now?"
"If I'm reacting like this does it mean I'm a chicken?"
"Yup, it means I'm a failure! I will never be able to succeed at anything in life..."
"I never do anything well. And even if I even try I will just stumble and crush some poor little yogi underneath my mammoth body..."
"Shit...he's finishing the demonstration...the door is only 3 metres away..."


Then, through the momentum of everyone starting to move and pair up I locked eyes (whoops!) with this fit looking girl about a head shorter than me - she smiled and started walking in my direction...

Then I gave in - better than resisting right?? She introduced herself and I warned her that I didn't really have confidence in being able to pull the position off and apologised in advance if I toppled her over. Brave woman that she was she still wanted to give it a go with me!

I offered for her to go up first with me assisting and she gracefully arched into position and went up into a perfect handstand. I was super impressed and told her so.

Then it was my turn. Buoyed by her success but still caught up in the distrust of my ability I reluctantly arched into position. She supported my shoulders and told me to start lifting my legs. I hopped up a little and my feet landed back on the ground. Another bunny hop and I could feel my face filled with blood and effort.

I stood up and said I didn't know if I would get it but that I'd have one more try since we were there anyway...

Deep breath, hands down, positioned outer shoulder width apart, core in, legs lifting, trusting in her support. Then...

SUCCESS

I was in an assisted handstand! My legs splayed wide, then came together again. Then I splayed them wide again just for fun and then brought them in to touch! WOW! I was in control of it. I DID IT! I was basking in my headstand glory! My red face was grinning wildly! I wanted to stay up here forever.

My mind was officially blown...

After all that blah blah bullshit that was raging on in my monkey mind, I managed something that I clearly didn't believe was possible for me at that time.

In that moment something shifted. I gained an understanding that I can do things I never thought I would be able to. I looked at the different situations that I am currently facing and it gave me renewed strength to tackle the daunting tasks I've set for myself.

From that experience I have gained a valuable amount of confidence. The issues that I am 'freakin' out' about I am much more willing to give a good old go with.

Maybe they'll be just like that handstand. Something I thought was impossible, but with some effort perhaps success will show up again...

What are you thinking is impossible in your life SSSs?
Make it as you wish!
Arienne
xo 

PS. A few months ago I thought the below position (wheel) was impossible for me. I worked on it and can now do it. Another notch on my confidence belt!

Photo Credit

Nothing Days

 Photo Credit

There are some days where you don't get anything 'important' done, yet they are such nourishingly necessary ones.

I'm sure you know them. The ones where you just indulge in whatever you fancy. Lie in bed all day? Yes! Read a book? Take a nap? Play a game? All of the above? Yes please!

Today was one of those days for me. I did some cross-stitch, had a sleep, played a game on my iPad, snacked on easy food, fiddled with my new phone, surfed the net and played with the dog.

At one stage I had a little bit of guilt creep up on me - that I should be doing something more productive with my day - but I let that come and then go. I've been working at the admin office, feeling inspired, getting things organised, catching up with friends, I needed to have some 'me' time to just do whatever I felt like. And it didn't need to have a result or an outcome.

Maybe tomorrow I will get back to moving forward with the other important things, but today was about a bit of self care for me.


When was the last time you carved out some time for yourself without an outcome required or guilt prodding you to do something?

Make it as you wish SSSs!
Arienne xo

Today I went for a walk...

...and it changed my life...

Doesn't that sound like the first line of a song or maybe a poem?? 

I have to admit I had a bit of a bad day today. Well...really it started off pretty well, I got up early started to do some work to get on top of the day, noticed a lovely comment on one of my posts that really made my day (thanks Holz!!).

Then I started to feel a bit crappy and I saw a great post on Facebook that helped me feel better. Then I lost sight of that and then...

Then...well then it got shit. Like totally fucked up. And I use that strong language because that is how I felt. I think the last few days and the things that were coming up in my subconscious started to catch up with me and I was on a downward spiral. Feeling out of control and anxious. I stopped functioning properly and the bodily sensations that I know as panic filled my pores and took over my rational mind.

And I knew I couldn't keep going like I was for the rest of the day. It was time to...well, it was time to...

STOP! I HAVE TO DO AN INTERVENTION! (and not the kind that involves friends and family members ambushing someone in their home about the 20 empty bottles of vodka in the recycling).

I knew I had to change the mood, change the tone. I knew some things would help me. I knew getting outside and getting some fresh air would be good. To stop focussing everything inside and start to look around me. I know that if I fight the sensations, they can get worse in the warped mind state of the moment (as the saying goes, what you resist, persists), so I tried to invite them in and say, hey, I'm taking you out, be there, but we're going for a walk together and we're going to see some beautiful things...

I called my friend Z and said I had to take the afternoon off and after a little wah-wah boo-hoo I'm feeling like crap and scared of it tears that needed to come out, she suggested something. Take each action, every little task, one step at a time. Tell yourself to open the door, then open the door. Tell yourself to walk down the stairs, then take each step down. Break things down into little tasks and do them one by one. It helps you feel a little more in control of what is in front of you. I guess that's what mindfulness is. Paying attention to what is here, present for you in the moment. Anything beyond that (well, maybe besides the box in the middle of the stairs down!) doesn't matter.

That made sense to me so I told myself to get my bag (I got my bag), I told myself to get my phone (I got my phone, I told myself... well, you're smart people, I'm sure you can fill in the step-by-step blanks...and I got into my car and drove down to the Bay.

I intended to take a few photos so I could focus on the details around me, rather than focussing on the details inside me. So I stepped out of the car (open the car door...put legs outside of car...) took some deep breaths and started to look at the vista surrounding me.

And this is what I saw:

  

 I looked at the boats and then I looked at the surface of the boats, and I looked at the stick laying on the pier and I breathed. I took pictures and fiddled with the effects and I breathed.

 I looked down at my feet in the sand and noticed the beautiful colours I was wearing compared to the awesome natural colours of the twigs and grains of sand and I breathed and I put a smile on my face.

 Then I looked at the empty benches facing the water and imagined people sitting there and laughing and dreaming together and enjoying the calm of the water as the breeze ripples over the surface.

 Then I sat on the bench and it wasn't empty any more and I sat and smiled and enjoyed the calm of the water as the breeze ripples over the surface.

 Then I looked at the stones that made up the rock wall and admired the tiers of colour in them.

 And I wondered how a huge palm tree like that could still be an oasis in the sprawling city.

 And if I could get the horizon, well...horizontal in the picture.

 And how the colours of the water, the pavement and the rock stairs all complement each other.

 And then I wondered if that stick would fit in my car. And then I laughed at the thought of me walking back into the house with it (it would have been taller than me...more than 175cm long) and The Man going WTF?!

 And then I noticed that my sense of humour was coming back. And that looking at those empty oyster shells left of the rocks was making me hungry

 And that that pile of rocks was quite beautiful (then thinking about who did it, then thinking about Pet Cemetry)

 Then noticing the birds - can you spot two of them in the pic?

 Then I saw this on the ground and went...That's me! I'm going upwards. Well, maybe my legs are a little longer and I've got longer hair.

And I recognised that I have come a long way from the crippling times when fear and anxious bodily sensations would get the better of me. I know I need to look after myself and master more techniques to handle stress, but I already know a few and I know how to use them.

Look at me, I'm feeling so much better now, because I knew what I needed and did it...I'm not chirpy and care free but I'm okay. Well at least a little better. There are a few twinges here and there but I can say that it was just a bad day. Like everyone has. We need to accept the great days and the not so good ones. No matter how wonderful our lives are and how much we improve them, we can't have this un-real picture that everything in every moment will be fine and dandy forevermore. Because it won't. It doesn't mean that our lives will come crashing down and that we need to expect unhappiness, but I may have a few more bad days like this. It just means we have to be realistic in our expectations. That we will have fabulous days and probably most will be fun or even neutral. But then some days might be a bit bleh or the period will be coming (that may be another factor of today).

And it's another learning that I need to look after myself. Eat well. Exercise. Write in my journal. Put it in perspective.

So make it as you wish SSSs

I miss Switzerland and my Family

Photo by me. From the Chalet's Balcony at an ungodly hour of the morning

Well, sometimes coming back to reality is a little hard. I had such a great time over the Christmas and New Year break with the family and being able to be productive at my own pace, that coming back to the speed of real life has been a little hard.

I've had a great time seeing The Man and reconnecting with friends, but as I received an email from my sister and pulled some clothes out of the suitcase and smelled the Chalet, I wished I was back there... It made me 'homesick' and I'd have given almost everything to transport myself across the world again.

It also sometimes hits me how much I miss my family. I've lived in a different city to all my family members for close to 8 years. And the way my family is set up, I've lived apart from at least one of my immediate family members for most of my life. And this Christmas, all of us, Mum, Dad, Step-Dad (friendly even after divorce many years ago) and my two sisters were together. It was truly great and I guess I just miss them.

But I guess that's what makes these times special. Family-filled, carefree holidays and a slower pace. It makes you appreciate and make the most of those times when you have them. It also makes you look at what you're doing in your normal everyday and see what you can bring into to make it more like those relaxed sessions.

Right now, sitting down and giving myself the time to write this has slowed me down a little. And it's coming back to me, how okay I am to be right here on my couch in Sydney and that they're all really just a Skype away.

Make it as you wish SSSs
Arienne xo

2 dates a week or a fortnight

No, I'm not talking about the awkward "Do I like you and do you like me?" kind of date. I'm talking about taking yourself on a date. Yes, you. You deserve the love and attention don't you??

I think these are so important I've scheduled them in my diary. We often run around being so busy with our work and social lives, we forget ourselves so easily. We need to stop and give ourselves some time to nourish our souls and pay attention to what we need.

The two dates I'm proposing you is and Artist's Date and a Down Time Date. If you can work them in weekly to your schedule, fantastic, if you can only do it fortnightly, so be it. But don't take too long between dates.

Artist's Date
The Artist's Date is a 'solo expedition to explore some thing that interests you.' Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist's Way and suggests the Artist Date as an important tool, says it is for 'Opening yourself to insight, inspiration and guidance'. You can take 1 or 2 hours for it, half a day or even a whole day if you so choose.

It is sacred time for you only to do something or see something that inspires you and replenishes your creative and productive juices. There are so many possibilities and what you choose will depend on your unique interests. And it doesn't have to cost money. So many wonderful things are free.

Some suggestions are:

• A long exploratory walk in an unfamiliar neighbourhood
• Tour the local markets
• Walk through an art gallery
• Visit a book store or library
• Watch an old movie
• Listen to a favourite or brand new album
• Go and watch the sunset
• Visit a spiritual place
• Cook a new recipe
• Go for a long drive
• Visit a second hand store
• Go to a craft store
• Look at paint swatches at a hardware store
  

The choices are endless, pick a different one to do each time. Going solo is important. Look at it as an adventure and fill your well!

Down Time Date
This is simply giving yourself the time to do whatever you want. Not what you should or could do, but what you want to do. The point of this date is not to have a concrete, productive outcome. This is something that will make you feel good and be full of enjoyment of the date. Give yourself two or more hours to immerse yourself in your Down Time Date, turn off your phone and let the other's at home know you're indulging in some much needed 'you' time.

Some ideas:

• Take a bath with scented candles
• Snuggle on the couch and read a juicy book
• Do a jigsaw puzzle
• Meander through your suburb
• Work on a hobby
• Try on outfits out of your wardrobe to find new combinations
• Pamper yourself
• Decorate
  

Whatever you do, honour yourself and enjoy it. Give yourself the gift of time.

Make it as you wish SSSs!
Arienne xo

Photo Credit